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Tuesday, June 17, 2008 @ 3:21 PM
the memoir of a hopeless Ben Romans fangirl..

"Hi - this is from us... for you," i handed the thick yellow envelope with your name scribbled on it in silver lettering to you with a shaking hand - it's not every day that i get to give something to someone like you. i even drew a chaste little heart next to your name.

"For me? That's nice," you say nonchalantly, taking the letter, and i know that you get letters like these every day from countless random fans in Asia and you're bored, but a part of me knows that inside, you're this man that is different. i'm different. we're different. but still, the other part of me - the one that doesn't take rejection - crumbles to pieces when she sees your expression.

i turn, wanting to walk away, but then i hear you gasp. "Radley?" you say, a hint of surprise in your voice. i turn back and look at you.

you've turned the envelope over to the side where i'd hastily scribbled "RADLEY I WANT A HUG" in hopes that you'd see it when you came out of the departure area, but you didn't.

but now you have.

"Aww," you go, and you open your arms wide, a smile on your face - the smile that i have seen countless times when you're messing around and having fun with the boys. Ethan, especially (sorry that i had to put it in here, but seriously. you do seem happiest around him). i fall into them, numb, and you wrap your arms around my shoulders. it's only a few seconds, but it seemed to last forever for me.

you have your beloved striped hoodie on, and you're looking funny in a songkok, but i don't care - and i ask you with a trembling voice if i could have a photo with you, and you go "Sure" and loosely hook an arm around my shoulder. i'm so clumsy - i fumble around with the camera till i get the right setting, and you don't even laugh as you wait.

"'Kay. Say cheese. One... two..." i go, and you make a face at the camera as the flash goes off.

"Thank you!" i manage to squeak, and you respond with an "Awesome.. thanks" before you walk away.

i am numb. and happy beyond belief.

amongst the craziness, we follow the lot of you down to to the bus bay, where you climb aboard the bus and head towards the back, where you tear open the envelope and read the letter.

as the others take photos of the rest of the guys, and the three idiots in Zehr t-shirts jump and scream and annoy the hell out of Joe by slapping on his window, i stand there, a statue, and watch as you slowly read the letter, nodding a little as you read the lines.

it's as if something comes over me, and i run over to the others, screaming "HE'S READING OUR LETTER! OH MY GOD", and we all run over to your side, happy and giddy that you're actually LOOKING at what's inside of the envelope. LOOKING AND READING what we spent two hours (it was an impromptu thing) putting together.

and when you were done, you waved the letter at us in thanks before the bus sped off. it made our night. my night.

thank you, Ben Romans.

thank you.