Welcome! You've stumbled upon the page of an almost-nineteen year old that's currently undergoing one of her "Who Am I? What Am I Doing Here?" phases. She also happens to have a huge love for words, bright pictures and music, and constantly craves sweet, iced tea drinks. Buy her a cuppa, perhaps?
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Monday, June 30, 2008 @ 2:56 AM
early morning report.

2.56 am.

said brother who was going to 'camp out'?

oh yeah, he's camping out all right.

he's currently fast asleep on the sofa, oblivious to the television and sweaty footballers running around on a football field.



@ 12:57 AM
Spain or Germany?.

1:01 AM.

hundreds of Malaysians surely are up, waiting up anxiously to watch the euro 2008 finals that are going on tonight, regardless of the late hour. doubtlessly, many are going to turn up late, or not turn up at all for school or work tomorrow.

just four hours ago, i remember my uncle making a pact with his son that if Spain won, he could skip school, and if Spain lost, it would be otherwise. it was made over plates of steaming white rice, five dishes placed smack in the middle of the table (the curry fish head was scrumptious, by the way), all of it to be washed down with several cups of bitter chinese tea, just the way the parents like it.

and teachers blame students for tardiness. hah.

my brother plans to set up camp downstairs soon. i say, the mosquitoes are going to have fun tonight.

i never managed to catch a Portugal match this season. i refuse to watch tonight's final, just for the fact that they got eliminated early, although i am secretly hoping Spain kicks Germany's butt, because i want revenge.

football kind of sucks this year. :(


Friday, June 27, 2008 @ 11:54 PM
drown my sorrows.

i'll be hitting urbanscapes tomorrow with ficm pals - i hope i'll come back with a steal or two!

i want that goddamn mixtape necklace so effing bad.

too pooped/dizzy to type out an actual post like i used to but overall the meetup with the old gang was kind of okay, though it went on awkwardly because of the lack of things to do. though the end of the night was pretty interesting......

mm natch.

kay, off to shower and then bed.

p/s: bumped into the donkey at OU today. pretty glad to see him there because i miss peeps from the ficm crew ♥

omg my tagboard's alive again; courtesy of the tranny pelican aka Geoffrey Yeow. :)

p/p/p/s: oh - we watched Wanted today. the plot was kind of twisted and hard to catch. i had to ask Terence at the end of the movie about a few things i couldn't understand. otherwise, i sort of liked the movie, although others thought it was pretty fake and bizarre due to the way the bullets were curving and everything. the slow motion effects kind of irked me a little, but other than that it was all fine.

James McAvoy & Angelina Jolie do make a hot pair in the movie, even though Angelina spends half the movie beating James up (ha - you go, girl), and Morgan Freeman seems to always pick the most twisted movies to star in. the role he played in this movie really reminded me of his role in Lucky Number Slevin!

watch it and see for yourself :)

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@ 12:18 PM

i got only 5 hours of sleep last night.


because the assholes TWO HOUSES away JUST HAD to start drilling and hammering shit at 8 am in the morning. THEY JUST HAD TO.


WHY 8 AM!?!?!?



@ 2:09 AM



*stabs self for excessive use of OMG*

i am deliriously happy and excited :D

just twelve hours till i get to see some of my favorite people in the whole world again!


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Thursday, June 26, 2008 @ 11:26 PM
Thursday night in Chatgasm -.

CYNDROME!: tragedy struck-
CYNDROME!: we're out of peanut butter




@ 2:37 AM
"im learning to breathe, awake and alive" - Switchfoot.

i'm the darkness, waiting.

and the sun is what's to come.


Wednesday, June 25, 2008 @ 2:23 PM
there's no doubt in anything she does.

i may have done this before as i remember certain questions but since life has changed not-so-drastically in the past six months, i'm going ahead and doing this anyway.

tagged by Alissa

Remove 1 question from above, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chatbox that he/she has been tagged.

1. Have you been trying to avoid something or someone?
i have (unfortunately) been trying to avoid my current sickness; dizziness, but unfortunately i still AM dizzy.

during my last visit to my family doctor eight days ago, he told me that it was just mere lack of sleep, but i have been getting sufficient sleep for the past two weeks to try cure this stupid sickness but i'm still having it.

i am, frankly, sick of seeing the world move. i want it to stay still.

2. Where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket?
hmm, that's a tough question. i'd like to go to several places... but right now i'd be content with somewhere exotic with a beach, like Bali.

heck, i'd be happy if i'd get to live in Bali all my life.

... with an internet connection, of course.

3. Whats your favourite thing to do?
lie on the beach/in a hammock by the beach and read or just fall asleep to the sound of the waves.

i fell asleep by accident in Redang on a hammock and i woke up grumpy and sunburned, but it was amazing and i felt so relaxed.

4.Do you think money can buy happiness?

well, yes. depends.


5.If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
the dream i had the other day about me having a hotel room next to Ben Romans and ...

i'm lazy to explain it all in detail again so i'll just find what i posted on the forum two days ago and post it up here...

leeyay you were innit and strangely you were attracted to ethan XD

we were at this hotel and my room was next to bromz. idk what happened then i ended up in bromz's room (he was rooming w/ kyle i think) and then i ended up crying about shit and he was comforting me and i remember him hugging me n then i 'fell asleep'

next day we came across him in the hallway and then i waved at him and he ignored me and he talked to 'sum bitch' ~will tell you later~ and so i cried about him not talkin to me?

we followed him and kyle down outside to the tourbus where dave and a few roadies were lining up a few boxes of sweets wtf and so i grabbed one packet n started eating the dough sweets - bromz didnt want one when i offered him Frowner ethan took the whole bag from leeyee and leeyee was happy about it? and then the two of you went off dancing at sum ball while i went to the bar xD

then somehow leeyee was at the bar too and we were there cos bromz was inside. then he came out all drunk and we were drinking tequila shots together and i actually beat him at a shot game xD

then next day he had to leave, he came up to me and apologized and he hugged me goodbye and i ended up crying again because he was gone @#%@#%@e

then my dream shifted to this stupid giant stomping thru a village because of the fucktard next door and his stupid piling machine at 11 in the morning >.>

sorry if anyone can't understand this because it's peppered with too much netspeak and/or acronyms. it's just the way i talk nowadays. chatgasm ftw. (i'm sorry if you can't understand that either.)

6.Do you believe u will survive without money?
well, give me a free stay at one of the hotel(s) in Redang and give me unlimited buffet breakfast/lunch/dinner access and i CAN survive without money :)

7.What are you afraid to lose the most?
my life. my family, my friends... and the click five.

8.If you win $1million, what would u do?
migrate to Australia, blow half of it on a nice house in Melbourne, use the other half to make my own T-shirt/streetwear business to make more money :)

9.What is the most recent embarrasing thing you have done?
oh god.


strangely i can't remember.

10.When did you last hug someone? and who was it?
i think i last hugged Ben Romans..................... no wait. before i left Genting i hugged the Click Clique girls hahaha forgot who was teh last one. :

11.Write down 1 bad point of the person who tagged you.
hmmmmm i don't know, whenever i talk to Alissa she's always nice. ;_; can't think of any bad points about her, really.

12.What do you think you'll be doing in 10 yrs time?
i don't know.... i want to be writing for a music magazine/working with MTV/working with a band... i don't know. i'll see where life brings me :)

13.Would you date someone who's at least 10 yrs older or younger?
older, definitely. ben romans is, after all, eight years older than i am? 8D

14.What is your ambition?
to be writing for a music magazine/to be associated with music/concerts/gigs in some way.


i know, i know, i'm out of my head, but seriously. music is my life.

15. Are you craving for anything in particular right now?
right now, i really really want soft Vanilla ice cream from McDonalds but mom might kill me if i order in. :(

16.What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
right now, my health. i just want to be well again.

17. latest craze?
reading original boylove oneshots on livejournal. they're just so sweet and so aww-inducing and yet it always has that one tiny portion of boysmex just to make my toes tingle.

(i am not a freak. i am not a freak. i am not a freak. i am not a freak......)

18.If you have a chance, which part of your character do you like to change?
my inability to make friends. my people skills, basically.

19. Superpowers, anyone?
i'd like to be able to hear what other people think and/or converse with someone through mindspeak.

20.Do you hate being tagged??
welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll................................. it depends.

Here are the 8 people....
lazy to tag people wtf ;_; you all do if you want lah.

i don't want anyone running after me accusing me of tagging them when they've got better things to blog about ;_;

p/s: i am still dizzy.


Tuesday, June 24, 2008 @ 11:25 PM

so - this is my NEWEST layout, and i think this one's going to stay for a pretty long time to come.

and yes, i made the header myself, and yes, i've been reusing this picture too many times for my own good, but i like it, and so there. *beams*


1) yes, i am still dizzy. i do not know why, but i HAVE been getting sufficient sleep and sufficient rest (sort of) and i WILL try to stay away from this machine that is the computer, but i am, unfortunately, addicted to it.

2) Ben Romans continues to haunt my dreams. just two nights ago, he was in my dreams being a sweetie and then an asshole and then a sweetie again (because he hugged me before he left - but he LEFT). and last night i dreamt about him getting stabbed by my nonexistent Student Council 'president' named Lila who turned out to have kidnapped my brother. (and i woke up crying at six am)

... yeah i know. i'm not smoking anything, if you're asking. but i don't know why i keep dreaming about him.

it's starting to bother me, but i kind of like it at the same time.

3) six weeks break. WHEE!

4) the US people and the Asian people on the forums are (sort of) having a fight again. goddamned selfish bitches who blame Asian people because Click didn't tour the US should seriously consider stuffing their heads down the toilet.

i don't give a shit any more. blame us all you like, but inside, i know that i - we Asians - are innocent and are not to blame for ANYTHING, because blaming us is just ridiculous.

5) my eyes are tired, so i'm kind of sort of logging off now.


good night blog.

p/s: when my head stops spinning, is anyone up for a Lagoon trip?

p/p/s: if anyone was wondering, the title of this blogpost is in JavaScript. (which i stole off a certain fic that i read, but isn't it cool? 8D)

*gets shot*


Saturday, June 21, 2008 @ 4:29 AM


it looks THAT GOOD in Mozilla but in IE the alignment is shit

therefore i can't use my new layout.


and yes, i am up at 4.30 in the morning.


@ 12:43 AM

i should really stop myself from searching/browsing through health forums at this point, even though i read that article in the Star and everything.

at this point, im convinced that i have one or two of a million life-threatening conditions.

i'm still dizzy.

when does this stop?


Thursday, June 19, 2008 @ 5:25 PM
New Header version 3582304580238402.


new header and new color scheme, featuring who else but the band that i am forever obsessed with - The Click Five.

i spent about three hours on this one.

i'm not satisfied with it at all with the cropping - especially with the colored picture - the cropping looks amateur-ish. i'm definitely not happy with myself.

it'll do for now, though.

what do you guys think?

seriously, honest opinions.


Wednesday, June 18, 2008 @ 4:55 PM

don't you miss this sometimes?

i do.


Tuesday, June 17, 2008 @ 3:21 PM
the memoir of a hopeless Ben Romans fangirl..

"Hi - this is from us... for you," i handed the thick yellow envelope with your name scribbled on it in silver lettering to you with a shaking hand - it's not every day that i get to give something to someone like you. i even drew a chaste little heart next to your name.

"For me? That's nice," you say nonchalantly, taking the letter, and i know that you get letters like these every day from countless random fans in Asia and you're bored, but a part of me knows that inside, you're this man that is different. i'm different. we're different. but still, the other part of me - the one that doesn't take rejection - crumbles to pieces when she sees your expression.

i turn, wanting to walk away, but then i hear you gasp. "Radley?" you say, a hint of surprise in your voice. i turn back and look at you.

you've turned the envelope over to the side where i'd hastily scribbled "RADLEY I WANT A HUG" in hopes that you'd see it when you came out of the departure area, but you didn't.

but now you have.

"Aww," you go, and you open your arms wide, a smile on your face - the smile that i have seen countless times when you're messing around and having fun with the boys. Ethan, especially (sorry that i had to put it in here, but seriously. you do seem happiest around him). i fall into them, numb, and you wrap your arms around my shoulders. it's only a few seconds, but it seemed to last forever for me.

you have your beloved striped hoodie on, and you're looking funny in a songkok, but i don't care - and i ask you with a trembling voice if i could have a photo with you, and you go "Sure" and loosely hook an arm around my shoulder. i'm so clumsy - i fumble around with the camera till i get the right setting, and you don't even laugh as you wait.

"'Kay. Say cheese. One... two..." i go, and you make a face at the camera as the flash goes off.

"Thank you!" i manage to squeak, and you respond with an "Awesome.. thanks" before you walk away.

i am numb. and happy beyond belief.

amongst the craziness, we follow the lot of you down to to the bus bay, where you climb aboard the bus and head towards the back, where you tear open the envelope and read the letter.

as the others take photos of the rest of the guys, and the three idiots in Zehr t-shirts jump and scream and annoy the hell out of Joe by slapping on his window, i stand there, a statue, and watch as you slowly read the letter, nodding a little as you read the lines.

it's as if something comes over me, and i run over to the others, screaming "HE'S READING OUR LETTER! OH MY GOD", and we all run over to your side, happy and giddy that you're actually LOOKING at what's inside of the envelope. LOOKING AND READING what we spent two hours (it was an impromptu thing) putting together.

and when you were done, you waved the letter at us in thanks before the bus sped off. it made our night. my night.

thank you, Ben Romans.

thank you.


Monday, June 16, 2008 @ 7:46 AM

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Sunday, June 15, 2008 @ 2:50 PM
Panic At The Disco.





Saturday, June 14, 2008 @ 1:41 AM
10 things you might not know about me..

tagged by Lizzette :)

What you all might not know about me. [State 10 things]

1. i talk in my sleep. (boardie friends can attest to this)
2. i teenie over Ben Romans for months after each concert - this time it'll probably last forever, because i actually met the guy.
3. i am a huge huge huge Lord Of The Rings buff. i may not know EVERY SINGLE THING but i'm sure as hell a fan.
4. whenever i'm wearing my contact lenses, i HAVE to put in the left one first, then only the right one, and whenever i'm taking them out, i take the right one out first.
5. i don't deal well with change.
6. i am very very VERY self conscious about my weight and shit, but man, it's kind of hard to care when you're in college and you're surrounded by food all the time.
7. i write slash fanfiction (ie. boyxboy, homosexual stories)
8. i support homosexual and bisexual people. i get mad at people who discriminate them pretty quickly.
9. i say a prayer before i go to bed each night.
10. whenever i frequent a restaurant, i always end up ordering the same thing over and over in the long run.

I tag;
the person who actually read this. c'mon i want to see you fess up. i'll be blog visiting soon.

*wiggles fingers*

okay. my head's about to explode.
am turning in for the night.



Friday, June 13, 2008 @ 8:53 PM
iTunes meme.

stole this from Cynthia.

kay back to the assignment that i'm supposed to be slogging over now.

\o/ joy.

How many songs total: 1162
How many hours or days of music: 2.9 days
Most recently played: Seven Days Of Lonely - I Nine
Most played: Summertime - The Click Five
Most recently added: I'm Gonna Find Another You - John Mayer

Sort by song title
First song:
Accidentally In Love - Counting Crows
Last song: 83- John Mayer

Sort by time
Shortest song;
Foreword - Linkin Park
Longest song; Whiskey Street - Ben Romans

Sort by album
First album;
Abdulmatic - Paula Abdul
Last album; **** - Fall Out Boy

First song to come up on shuffle; I Won't Disagree - Kate Voegele

Search the following and state how many songs come up;
life; 43
love; 64
hate; 3
you; 179
sex; 4


@ 10:00 AM
the eye of the storm.

only John Mayer can make me relax at a time like this when i just feel like ripping out my eyeballs and preserving them in a pickle jar.

(i am, obviously, on a semi-hiatus.)

sorry if i promised to link anyone back and if i haven't done it yet - i'll get cracking as soon as this shitty assignment is off my back.



Monday, June 09, 2008 @ 5:29 PM
still breathing..

i feel so bloody empty, now that everything i've been looking forward to for the past two or three months is over.

it's like someone shoved the nozzle of a vacuum cleaner down my throat and then hit the 'On' button, sucking all my guts out including my broken heart.


Sunday, June 08, 2008 @ 2:49 PM
Ben Romans.

Dear God,

I fucking love this man.

Winnie Loo


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Thursday, June 05, 2008 @ 2:22 AM

on the boardwalk, working two shifts
savin' for that diamond ring, then i'll quit
all the cool kids
hanging south pier
guess i'll have it figured out
by next year

summertime summertime,
you do it to me everytime, summertime,
you do it to me
oh oh oh ohhh;
i'm restless
oh oh oh ohhh;
i can feel it
baby is it real or is it just a sign?
it's summertime

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