Welcome! You've stumbled upon the page of an almost-nineteen year old that's currently undergoing one of her "Who Am I? What Am I Doing Here?" phases. She also happens to have a huge love for words, bright pictures and music, and constantly craves sweet, iced tea drinks. Buy her a cuppa, perhaps?
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Wednesday, October 10, 2007 @ 12:45 AM
I've felt what you felt all along.

Brendon can't keep his eyes off Ryan. He doesn't know exactly why.

Even here, on stage, he keeps sneaking peeks at the guitarist out of the corner of his eye. There's just something - something that makes Ryan really stand out today. Maybe its the polka-dotted tie. Or maybe its the blue waistcoat or the way Ryan looks in his usual gray pair of skinny jeans. Or was it because of the red guitar that Ryan exchanged his usual white one for?

Whatever it is, it certainly isn't the guitar Brendon's staring at.

And when the first few chords of his favorite song of their album, "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off", come on, instead of looking out to the crowd and asking them to sing along like he does at every other concert, he turns to Ryan and stares into his dark honey-brown eyes.

" Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed ..."

The fangirls go wild.

Brendon moves towards Ryan slowly, shutting his eyes, his feet moving forward one step at a time. And when he opens his eyes again, Ryan is only a few feet in front of him. Yet, Brendon moves closer and closer until their noses are barely touching, and he can feel Ryan's warm breath - now getting quicker - on his face.

Brendon really can't explain what he's doing, and Ryan's staring back at him, his expression unreadable. Ryan isn't moving, only his hands are on his guitar - and yet, Brendon continues to sing.

"I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck, than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me..."

And as Brendon sings the last few syllables to that line , he places his right hand on the back of Ryan's head and with a tiny smirk, leans in and kisses him.


Brendon can barely look at Ryan once the show is over.

Once he hands his microphone to a stage crew member, he pushes past Spencer and Jon and locks himself in the bathroom and sinks to the floor.

Oh. My. God. What the hell did he do out there? How could he have kissed him?! It was Ryan. George Ryan Ross. His best friend. Or his ex-best friend, because after what happened on stage, Brendon is sure that Ryan hates him now.

He stays there on the tiled bathroom floor for a long time, ignoring Spencer and Jon's frequent knocks on the door until he hears Ryan plead "Bren? Come out of there, please. You've been in there for twenty minutes and Spencer really needs to pee."

Brendon pulls the door open and launches himself into Ryan's arms.

"Ry, i'm so, so, so, so, so, so sorry for what I did - I don't know what got into me, Ry, I think it must be the chicken and cheese sandwiches I had before the show - maybe it's the cheese or something - I don't know, but i'm so so sorry, Ry, I swear -"

Ryan cuts him off with a soft, warm kiss on his lips that makes his whole body melt.

When they finally pull away, Brendon stares at Ryan, dumbfounded, his heart beating a mile a minute beneath his deep red blouse.

Ryan's the one smirking this time, and what he says next makes Brendon's heart turn somersaults and cartwheels and jumping jacks and whatever else, because -

"I've felt what you felt all along."