Welcome! You've stumbled upon the page of an almost-nineteen year old that's currently undergoing one of her "Who Am I? What Am I Doing Here?" phases. She also happens to have a huge love for words, bright pictures and music, and constantly craves sweet, iced tea drinks. Buy her a cuppa, perhaps?
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Thursday, June 08, 2006 @ 9:45 PM
My third post today.

Oh well. :P

Happy Birthday to my Godma :D - she's 1 year older today! (well, duh, but I forgot her age..) Anyway, sent her flowers and a cute picture message today.

Okay, I warn you people. This is gonna be a very the emo post.

You know, sometimes I feel so damn lonely. Shit, I don't have any close friends. I mean, the people who I thought were closest to me also don't trust me but I tell everything to them.

And they think i'll spill. They think i'm a tattletale. They think i'm this little glass jar that can break any second.

I was.. and still am damn hurt, can.

And when I found out they thought that of me, I reflected back on myself, and I thought, "Hey.. yeah, that's true. Maybe I spill without really realizing I said that." So I was more cautious, and since then I watched what I said.

But then, they're still distant.

They treat me as if i'm just some normal friend.

But we've been damn close for a long time already.

I feel damn hurt. Damn fucking hurt.

Now when I think back, I realized that when they said all those things about me, they're just talking shit.

I don't know why, but everytime they plan a big outing, even amongst people I know, and grew up with, they always exclude me.

For some fucked up reason, they always exclude me.

Even though they live so far apart from each other.

They always fucking exclude me.


Wanna get over with my life, go start afresh in college, and i'll show them that I don't need them to survive.

Then when i'm popular, and they're clamoring to know me, i'll shun them, and make them eat my dust. Let them feel how I felt when they did that to me before.

Sweet, bitter, revenge. Ahhhh...